If No One Died, Can I Still Be Sad?

I have, these past several silent weeks, been searching for a way to process grief. Most of what I’m finding follows a back-and-forth formula of the dehumanizing expectations of emotionally stunted and immature Western culture and the reality of those who have […]

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Sad Lady and the Halfway Point

  2016, the year I was warned would be the hardest year of my life, is half gone today. Should I think of it as the top of this gnarly crag and it’s all downhill from here? It’s been harder for me to […]

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This is your culture on trauma

I want to name as trauma the experience of not being chosen in a coupled world. The living alone, the having no one witness your life or help you make life decisions, the having no one to hold or feed you when […]

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Sad Lady Scatterdly Considers Aloneness

  I’m excited to see this going mainstream: the best we can do for our loved ones is to try to love them. We don’t have to call the police. We don’t have to recite all our commitments and things pulling at our time […]

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Sad Lady, An Interlude

I had thought I found a new voice. Friends noticed a difference and I was filled up by their affirmations and encouragements even as I was facing a new way of being: sad not mad. But 30 years of loneliness, isolation and […]

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Sad Lady, Sounding Mad in Mourning

Unless you are willing to take care of me for a while, or take something off my plate, or spend time with me to ease the burden of aloneness, stop telling me to practice “self-care.” That’s a nice-sounding excuse not to show […]

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Sad Lady and the Persistence of Anger

I have a dear and longtime friend who has worked very hard to understand me, who does so well generally, and who has been integral to my life since 2009. He’s also been unfairly (to him) busy in a way that’s not […]

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Sad Lady Meets An Unexpected Kindness

I wanted a water filter that removed fluoride and had been saving up. My mom texted me on Easter, wishing me a happy one, asked if I had plans and if I needed a new spring dress. “I’ve been looking at some […]

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Sad Lady Meets An Unexpected Kindness

I wanted a water filter that removed fluoride and had been saving up. My mom texted me on Easter, wishing me a happy one, asked if I had plans and if I needed a new spring dress. “I’ve been looking at some […]

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Sad Lady, An Introduction

There’s a story in the Old Testament where Moses strikes a stone and water gushes out. Nevermind what he strikes it with; de- and recontextualized, this is my story of self protection. Literally, self preservation. The stone is my anger. The water […]

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