The last few years have seen some good news about divorce rates – that is, that they’ve held steady after years of climbing and are maybe even starting to decline. The problem is that they were really high to begin with, and it still seems like around 50 percent of marriages end in divorce (with subsequent marriages ending at higher rates than that) and a large portion of the ones that do stay together are relatively unhappy. For something so important and so potentially fulfilling (and so damaging to the soul when it goes wrong), this should be an out-and-out crisis. Yet, while we’re socialized to be competitive about everything else – jobs, appearances, the appearances of our life partner – being “the best husband” or “the best wife” is conspicuously absent from this list. (more…)