Culture is like Traffic

I haven’t had a car for over ten years – I gave up my 1986 Volvo when I moved to Seattle and have been reliant on public transit ever since – but even I know how bad traffic has gotten in my […]

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I think a title is supposed to go here.

I am tired. I am tired of asking for help. It’s not the vulnerability that’s difficult for me – my nature gives me no choice but to be embarrassingly and shamefully vulnerable almost all the time. It’s the astounding lack of follow […]

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Can We Please Talk About How We’re Talking About Stuff?

We hear a lot about how narratives are powerful, that if you want to move someone, tell them a story, that we are creatures of story. As a writer, I’d like to eat all that up. But our culture is rapidly composting […]

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The National Suicide Hotline

Does this post look familiar? “Would at least three of my Facebook friends please copy and repost? I am doing this to prove that someone is always listening. #SuicideAwareness 1-800-273-8255.” It’s been making the rounds on Facebook lately and it’s heartening to see […]

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Vulnerability, stop one: to breed or not to breed

It’s been a few months since I’ve written anything here; my last post attempted to wrestle with the loss of a friend, not through death but through abandonment, the second “lifelong” best friend to tell me I’m not good enough. I’m angry, […]

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If No One Died, Can I Still Be Sad?

I have, these past several silent weeks, been searching for a way to process grief. Most of what I’m finding follows a back-and-forth formula of the dehumanizing expectations of emotionally stunted and immature Western culture and the reality of those who have […]

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Sad Lady and the Halfway Point

  2016, the year I was warned would be the hardest year of my life, is half gone today. Should I think of it as the top of this gnarly crag and it’s all downhill from here? It’s been harder for me to […]

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Sad Lady, Sounding Mad in Mourning

Unless you are willing to take care of me for a while, or take something off my plate, or spend time with me to ease the burden of aloneness, stop telling me to practice “self-care.” That’s a nice-sounding excuse not to show […]

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Sad Lady and the Persistence of Anger

I have a dear and longtime friend who has worked very hard to understand me, who does so well generally, and who has been integral to my life since 2009. He’s also been unfairly (to him) busy in a way that’s not […]

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What Drives Divorce?

The last few years have seen some good news about divorce rates – that is, that they’ve held steady after years of climbing and are maybe even starting to decline. The problem is that they were really high to begin with, and […]

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